Kids
Friday, November 8, 2013
John's birth story
Where do I even begin?
On Oct 4th, after a crazy week of freezer meals, canning and storing all the veggies that were given me from my friends, I felt exhausted. That weekend we were in Cardston for General Conference, and I was pretty sure that the baby would come soon. I was contracting and just feeling off. Nothing progressed over the weekend, but that Monday night, I had regular contractions, so much that Doug and I even went for a little walk around the neighbourhood in the middle of the night. When I was in labour with Robbie, the nurses told me to have a really hot bath and if labour was true, it would get more intense, if it were false, it would die down. So after I had our walk, I had a tub and then fell right asleep. When I woke in the morning, I was SO angry!! I wanted the baby to come! Unfortunately for Doug and I, this lasted for the remainder of the pregnancy...and it only got worse.
On Oct 22, at 39 weeks, Dr Malach swept my membranes. Now, I have never made it to 39 weeks...Nola was born at 37, Robbie at 38. Of course, we ALL thought this baby would be early too, which made things more difficult for me. Anywho, that night, I had contractions again, but these were different. A lot different. They were longer, stronger and closer together and they hurt like hell! After 6 hours of contractions, we went into the hospital. 1-2cm. Well crap. So back home we went and luckily I fell right asleep. The next night - same thing. The night after that?? Oh yes, same thing. By Friday morning, I was exhausted. I called L&D and they suggested I come in and get some drugs to help me relax and rest, 'cause they knew I'd need my energy for when I actually had to deliver. We went in, I was checked by the nurse and resident Dr. - still 1-2cm. The Dr. gave me an Ativan and I went home and slept for most of the day. That night, we met my mom and GG at Wendy's for dinner and I felt so awful. I ended up just sitting in the van, crying because I was so done. I think the heavens heard my plea...
I woke up around 11pm with contractions. Doug and I didn't get too excited, as this was old hat for us by now. But they got closer and closer together, very quickly. 10 min apart, 8 min apart, 6 min apart, 4 min apart. By this time, we figured we'd better call my mom to come out as she had to drive in from Magrath. By the time she got here, the contractions were between 2 and 4 min apart. At this point I hopped into a hot bath and things started getting really intense. While in the bath, they were every 2 minutes apart and all encompassing. We quickly got out of the bath and decided to head in to the hospital again. When I got up to L&D they checked me right away - 4-5cm!! Hooray!! I was SOOO happy. Doug called my mom and told her baby was coming!! I was so ready for this. Ready for labour, ready for deliver, ready to meet my baby....or so I thought.
After getting over to the delivery suite, the nurses asked if I wanted an epidural. I really didn't want one, but I was feeling a little nervous too. They ordered the epidural, but told me I didn't have to take it if I didn't want to. After saying a little prayer, we decided to get it, which is a bit of a tender issue for me. Had I not gotten the epidural, maybe things would have been different. I'll never know. Anyway, I digress. Right after I got the epidural, my blood pressure dropped, significantly. I had to lay completely flat on my back and not move, 'cause if I did move, my blood pressure got even lower. The nurses just sat there and stared at the monitors, gave each other quiet looks, and called the anesthetist in to see me multiple times. Once I hit transition, the looks got more in intense, and so did the quiet. Both Doug and I knew something was wrong. Soon, the resident Dr, Dr. Malach, the anesthetist and more nurses were in the room, watching the monitor, and then I heard it. With each contraction, I could hear the heartbeat getting low...very low. Dr Malach only heard the heartbeat for about 8 minutes and then everything got crazy.
"This baby needs to come out, now."
"You are having a C-section."
"Can my husband come?" I ask. "No. You will be put under. The baby needs to come out NOW!"
With that, I shot a terrified look back at Doug and said 'Don't tell anyone what the gender is until I am awake.' He just nodded, and with that I was gone.
I must say, modern medicine is amazing. I looked at the clock as they wheeled me out of the delivery suite - it was 9:00am on the dot. The rushed me down the hall into the OR. I am not even going to lie, it was freakin' terrifying. There were at least 10 Dr's and nurses in there, all scrambling around. Two came and lifted me from my bed to the operating table, one was putting oxygen on my face, another was shaving me, another was strapping my arms and legs to the table, others prepping tools and running around. One nurse came by my side and help my hand. I remember looking into her eyes - oh, I was so scared. She rubbed my hand and said it would be ok. Then, I see Dr Malach walking toward me and I start panicking. I wasn't asleep yet!! I thought the oxygen mask was the medicine to put me to sleep, and I though Dr Malach was coming to cut me open. Up until this point I kept my cool, but now I was freaking out. I was trying to yell, but I couldn't with the mask on my face. Luckily, only moments later I felt the medicine go through my IV and then that was it.
On Saturday, October 26th (a day before my due date) at 9:09am, only 9 minutes after leaving the delivery suite, our precious baby boy, John Louis was born. I was not awake to see. Doug was not there to witness. It breaks my heart to type that, BUT John is here and he's safe and really, that's what matter most.
I woke up about an hour later and was in a crazy daze. I tried to speak but I couldn't. I tried and I tired, then finally grabbed the nurse walking by. She explained that I had a tube down my throat and that it was probably all scratched up. I pulled her close and asked what I had. She said a boy, but didn't know any other details. I was so excited!! Unfortunately, I was the only one excited. Honest, the two nurses who were with me were so crotchety. The worst nurses I have ever had. They didn't talk or even look at me. I asked one of them for a hug and she just walked away. The other one I said 'Would you please look me in the eye?' So she did. Then I asked if she could smile, and she walked away from me. I decided at that point that they don't care about me, so I might as well get some rest. I couldn't sleep, but I laid there...and listened to these woman talk about their pension.
Finally, I was off to the maternity ward. When I got in there, Doug was still in the NICU with John. I felt really alone, but the new nurse was awesome. She held and rubbed my hand, gave me a big hug, told me she was proud of me and waited for Doug to come see me. When Doug walked in the doors, I burst into tears. We had a very long embrace - this was so hard for both of us. John was still in the NICU, but Doug showed me pictures of him and he was just so perfect. I couldn't wait to get my hands on him!! When the nurses brought John to me, everything suddenly became OK. Nothing mattered - not the loss of my birth plan, not the C-section, not the throat tube, the bitchy nurses and their freakin' pensions, nothing. It was all about John.
Recovery has been up and down. I got an infection in my incision shortly after coming home, which set my recovery back. My mood is very up and down...I find I am crying a lot, but I think its just situational, with recovering and the whole measles thing (which is another post) I am trying to take everyday as it comes. I am trying to mourn the loss of my birth plan and 'get over it', but it sneaks up and brings me down. I am trying to cope with everything, and that's the best I can do. I have been making special time just with Nola, just with Robbie and just with John, and it makes me really happy :) I love all my kids SO much!!! Nola and Robbie both love John. Whenever Robbie sees him, his eyes light up and he shouts 'John!' Nola loves to hold him and sing him songs. They are all so darling together. Doug is amazing, as always. He loves his children and me, and he takes care of us so well.
Love doesn't not divide, it multiplies :)
John Louis Walton
October 26th, 2013
7lbs 12 oz
9:09am
On Oct 4th, after a crazy week of freezer meals, canning and storing all the veggies that were given me from my friends, I felt exhausted. That weekend we were in Cardston for General Conference, and I was pretty sure that the baby would come soon. I was contracting and just feeling off. Nothing progressed over the weekend, but that Monday night, I had regular contractions, so much that Doug and I even went for a little walk around the neighbourhood in the middle of the night. When I was in labour with Robbie, the nurses told me to have a really hot bath and if labour was true, it would get more intense, if it were false, it would die down. So after I had our walk, I had a tub and then fell right asleep. When I woke in the morning, I was SO angry!! I wanted the baby to come! Unfortunately for Doug and I, this lasted for the remainder of the pregnancy...and it only got worse.
On Oct 22, at 39 weeks, Dr Malach swept my membranes. Now, I have never made it to 39 weeks...Nola was born at 37, Robbie at 38. Of course, we ALL thought this baby would be early too, which made things more difficult for me. Anywho, that night, I had contractions again, but these were different. A lot different. They were longer, stronger and closer together and they hurt like hell! After 6 hours of contractions, we went into the hospital. 1-2cm. Well crap. So back home we went and luckily I fell right asleep. The next night - same thing. The night after that?? Oh yes, same thing. By Friday morning, I was exhausted. I called L&D and they suggested I come in and get some drugs to help me relax and rest, 'cause they knew I'd need my energy for when I actually had to deliver. We went in, I was checked by the nurse and resident Dr. - still 1-2cm. The Dr. gave me an Ativan and I went home and slept for most of the day. That night, we met my mom and GG at Wendy's for dinner and I felt so awful. I ended up just sitting in the van, crying because I was so done. I think the heavens heard my plea...
I woke up around 11pm with contractions. Doug and I didn't get too excited, as this was old hat for us by now. But they got closer and closer together, very quickly. 10 min apart, 8 min apart, 6 min apart, 4 min apart. By this time, we figured we'd better call my mom to come out as she had to drive in from Magrath. By the time she got here, the contractions were between 2 and 4 min apart. At this point I hopped into a hot bath and things started getting really intense. While in the bath, they were every 2 minutes apart and all encompassing. We quickly got out of the bath and decided to head in to the hospital again. When I got up to L&D they checked me right away - 4-5cm!! Hooray!! I was SOOO happy. Doug called my mom and told her baby was coming!! I was so ready for this. Ready for labour, ready for deliver, ready to meet my baby....or so I thought.
After getting over to the delivery suite, the nurses asked if I wanted an epidural. I really didn't want one, but I was feeling a little nervous too. They ordered the epidural, but told me I didn't have to take it if I didn't want to. After saying a little prayer, we decided to get it, which is a bit of a tender issue for me. Had I not gotten the epidural, maybe things would have been different. I'll never know. Anyway, I digress. Right after I got the epidural, my blood pressure dropped, significantly. I had to lay completely flat on my back and not move, 'cause if I did move, my blood pressure got even lower. The nurses just sat there and stared at the monitors, gave each other quiet looks, and called the anesthetist in to see me multiple times. Once I hit transition, the looks got more in intense, and so did the quiet. Both Doug and I knew something was wrong. Soon, the resident Dr, Dr. Malach, the anesthetist and more nurses were in the room, watching the monitor, and then I heard it. With each contraction, I could hear the heartbeat getting low...very low. Dr Malach only heard the heartbeat for about 8 minutes and then everything got crazy.
"This baby needs to come out, now."
"You are having a C-section."
"Can my husband come?" I ask. "No. You will be put under. The baby needs to come out NOW!"
With that, I shot a terrified look back at Doug and said 'Don't tell anyone what the gender is until I am awake.' He just nodded, and with that I was gone.
I must say, modern medicine is amazing. I looked at the clock as they wheeled me out of the delivery suite - it was 9:00am on the dot. The rushed me down the hall into the OR. I am not even going to lie, it was freakin' terrifying. There were at least 10 Dr's and nurses in there, all scrambling around. Two came and lifted me from my bed to the operating table, one was putting oxygen on my face, another was shaving me, another was strapping my arms and legs to the table, others prepping tools and running around. One nurse came by my side and help my hand. I remember looking into her eyes - oh, I was so scared. She rubbed my hand and said it would be ok. Then, I see Dr Malach walking toward me and I start panicking. I wasn't asleep yet!! I thought the oxygen mask was the medicine to put me to sleep, and I though Dr Malach was coming to cut me open. Up until this point I kept my cool, but now I was freaking out. I was trying to yell, but I couldn't with the mask on my face. Luckily, only moments later I felt the medicine go through my IV and then that was it.
On Saturday, October 26th (a day before my due date) at 9:09am, only 9 minutes after leaving the delivery suite, our precious baby boy, John Louis was born. I was not awake to see. Doug was not there to witness. It breaks my heart to type that, BUT John is here and he's safe and really, that's what matter most.
I woke up about an hour later and was in a crazy daze. I tried to speak but I couldn't. I tried and I tired, then finally grabbed the nurse walking by. She explained that I had a tube down my throat and that it was probably all scratched up. I pulled her close and asked what I had. She said a boy, but didn't know any other details. I was so excited!! Unfortunately, I was the only one excited. Honest, the two nurses who were with me were so crotchety. The worst nurses I have ever had. They didn't talk or even look at me. I asked one of them for a hug and she just walked away. The other one I said 'Would you please look me in the eye?' So she did. Then I asked if she could smile, and she walked away from me. I decided at that point that they don't care about me, so I might as well get some rest. I couldn't sleep, but I laid there...and listened to these woman talk about their pension.
Finally, I was off to the maternity ward. When I got in there, Doug was still in the NICU with John. I felt really alone, but the new nurse was awesome. She held and rubbed my hand, gave me a big hug, told me she was proud of me and waited for Doug to come see me. When Doug walked in the doors, I burst into tears. We had a very long embrace - this was so hard for both of us. John was still in the NICU, but Doug showed me pictures of him and he was just so perfect. I couldn't wait to get my hands on him!! When the nurses brought John to me, everything suddenly became OK. Nothing mattered - not the loss of my birth plan, not the C-section, not the throat tube, the bitchy nurses and their freakin' pensions, nothing. It was all about John.
Recovery has been up and down. I got an infection in my incision shortly after coming home, which set my recovery back. My mood is very up and down...I find I am crying a lot, but I think its just situational, with recovering and the whole measles thing (which is another post) I am trying to take everyday as it comes. I am trying to mourn the loss of my birth plan and 'get over it', but it sneaks up and brings me down. I am trying to cope with everything, and that's the best I can do. I have been making special time just with Nola, just with Robbie and just with John, and it makes me really happy :) I love all my kids SO much!!! Nola and Robbie both love John. Whenever Robbie sees him, his eyes light up and he shouts 'John!' Nola loves to hold him and sing him songs. They are all so darling together. Doug is amazing, as always. He loves his children and me, and he takes care of us so well.
Love doesn't not divide, it multiplies :)
John Louis Walton
October 26th, 2013
7lbs 12 oz
9:09am
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