Last week, I resigned from my position at ATB Financial. I have been working for ATB for the past 9 years and they have been nothing but good to me. I love my job - serving people is a pleasure - however the time has come for me to be at home.
I had felt prompted since January that I should leave work, however I kept pushing the prompting aside. We had a plan - if I worked for 16 more months we could pay off the van loan and then I would quit. It was a great plan with righteous desires, however the spirit kept quietly whispering for me to reconsider. Doug and I decided to make a trip to the temple to hash it out. On the way to the temple, for some reason we decided to change what it was that we would ask for guidance on. Again, it made sense to keep working, so we would stick with that and work on some other things.
The temple was amazing...one of the most powerful spiritual experiences I have ever had. I felt so much peace and love from The Lord. That weekend was also General Conference and again, my spirit was nourished by the goodness of God.
I felt amazing. We had a plan. Everything was perfect.
Then, Monday morning came.
I woke up and got ready for work. I always pray while driving, so I said a great morning prayer and felt like a million bucks. I got to the bank, parked the car and walked to the doors. As soon as I entered the door I felt like I was hit by a bus. The Spirit literally shouted in my mind 'What are you doing here?!?' My chest restricted, my hands clammed up and my eyes welled with tears. I quickly went and put my coat and purse away, trying to shake this horrible feeling and regroup so I could work. I pushed the tears down, but the clammy hands and tight chest did not let up. Was it really so bad for me to be here? Was this perfect, righteous plan not what we were to do? What the heck am I supposed to do?
On my lunch break I texted with Simone about how I was feeling and she was able to lend me some great advice. I kept it together for the rest of the day and knew I needed to talk about everything with Doug that night.
After the kids went to bed, Doug and I talked. We talked and talked and talked. Hashing out everything and finally coming to terms with the fact that we now need to turn to The Lord and see what he wants and needs us to do. We went on to LDS.org and found what President Monson said at conference.
He talked about how Alice in Wonderland asked the Cheshire Cat which path she should take when she got to the fork in the road. The Cheshire Cat responded by saying 'if you don't know where you are going, it doesn't matter which path you take.' He also then said something along the lines of we must choose the hard right path instead of the easy wrong path.
After reading that, we knew what we needed to do. We said a beautiful prayer and received the confirmation that I was to leave my job.
Answer recived.
My last day is May 16th. I am a little sad to leave, however I have so much peace that we have made the right decision. Bring on the summer!!!
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