Being present

My best friend and I (Hi Simone!!!) were talking on the phone today, and as always, we got talking about the kids. One of the main things I LOVE about my relationship with Simone is that we can be so openly and blatantly truthful with one another. We talk a lot about the realities of motherhood...you know, the stuff no one wants to talk about. Today, however, our conversation really got me thinking.

We were taking about the opportunity we have of truly being present mothers. We are our children's primary caregivers and we spend majority of our time with them. Now, I will be the first to admit that spending so much time with my children can drive me absolutely insane, however it really is a privilege to be able to do so. The blessing we were talking about in regards to being present in our children's lives is the opportunity to answer their questions. She shared a humorous story about Adam, her 5 year old son, and his determination to understand why women have breasts. Does every woman have boobs? Did you always have boobs? Are they all big? Can they be as big as the roof? We had a good laugh about this, but then the conversation got a little deeper and has really got me thinking.

Nola is 5 and at this stage of life she has a lot of questions. A LOT of questions. She is curious about everything around her and she is truly trying to understand how things work in the world. Most of the time, the questions are about the world around us - why don't dog's talk? Where does the water in the swimming pool come from? How did my shorts get a picture of a heart on them? Why are our eyes different? Why can't scissors cut this rock? Is Batman from the Avengers or the Justice League?

The questions don't stop...like ever. BUT, and there is a big but, every once in a while you get a question like Mommy, is Jesus really real? Or How did I get to be your daughter and you got to be my mommy? When I grow up, can I teach my daughter how to make buns?

With all these questions, she also blesses me with the answers she does know. Mom, you married Daddy because you love him and he loves you. God wants me to pray. Home is my favourite place. My family loves me. When I feel sad, Jesus holds me and males me feel better.

Funny, isn't it usually the things that drive you the most crazy about mothering that bring forth the sweetest fruits? I hope I can take the time and effort to see these opportunities with my children for the slices of heaven they are. To answer the questions, even if the question is how many real cats do you think we could fit in the van.

I love my kids, ferociously. I want to be the best mother, the best person I possibly can be for them. My thanks is to God not only for the privilege of being a mother, but also for the humility and guidance to be a better mother tomorrow than I was today.

Nola, Rob and John, if and when you read this, please know that I am trying my best to be your mom. Being a mother is ridiculously hard... I have no idea why I am doing, but I turn to the Lord and ask for his guidance in all decisions I make. When I make the wrong choice, I ask for His forgiveness and I ask for your too. I love you guys SO much. Too much for words. Too much for this blog. Too much for me to every express in one go. I hope ans pray that you will always know how much your mother loves you.