It's true!!!

Today I got to hear the sweet sound of baby #3's heart beat! We are so thrilled to be welcoming another baby into our family. We have yet to tell the kids - Robbie will have no idea, but I think Nola will be pretty excited. I'm sure we'll tell them this week.

Many of you have asked how I have been feeling this pregnancy, since pregnancy and I usually do not get along very well. I figure the best way to tell, and also to document this stage of life, is through my blog. So, here it is!

I have been sick. Really sick. I have what's called hyperemesis gravidarum - basically, it's extreme morning sickness, resulting in weight loss, low blood pressure, dehydration, constipation, dizzyness and fainting. Week 7-11 were, in all honestly, hell. I was unable to do to anything. I couldn't sleep, eat, drive, walk - anything. The kids and I would stay home all morning, as I couldn't leave the house alone with them. Somedays weren't safe for the children to be at home alone with me, so my Mom, Mandy or Melissa would take the kids. I had multiple trips to the ER for re-hydration and med's to treat the pain my body was in. I started to feel very low, maybe even depressed. It was devistating to hear my children cry for me to come play with them, but I couldn't get out of bed; to watch Doug take them to the park, to cook meals with them, to give them their bath - all little things that you really do miss when you are unable to do them. I felt like I couldn't be their mom. As I spent more and more time away from my family, I felt further and further away from anything that brought me joy. I finally reached out to a dear friend of mine, who recently endured months of bedrest due to problems with her placenta and then finally, the birth of her beautiful son at 28 weeks. I asked how she coped with being unable to be a Mom while she was in the hospital. Her answer was straight forward and hit me like a tonne of bricks - she turned to the Lord. From that moment on, I decided I would do the same.

The following weeks were, and have been, life changing. I have never come so close to the Lord as I have while dealing with this trial. By turning to the sciptures and pleading to the Lord through prayer, I have learned to focus on what I CAN do, not what I cannot. I CAN read my children stories in bed, I CAN watch Dora and Diego with them, I CAN sing songs, do stickers and shower them with love and kisses. I realized that I still can be their mom, and a good one at that! Even though the sickness was not improving, my emotional state was at an all time high, and that made all the difference.

With Nola and Robbie, I was pretty sick for the whole 9 months, so I figured this pregnancy would be the same. Well, last Tuesday, I woke up feeling great! I had an amazing day of energy and I accomplished much. I have been waiting for the ball to drop and for the HG to come back, but I have gone a whole week feeling great! I have only throw up 5 times in the last 7 days!! That may not sound that great to some people, but for those of us who've experience HG they know thats AWESOME!! I am doing all that I can to enjoy each and every day. Like they say, 'you don't know what you got 'til it's gone', and boy does that ever ring true when you lose our health.

I would be totally and completely ungrateful if I did not take time to recognize the man who pulled us along through this all. Doug has been my knight in shining armour. He has been the greatest blessing to me and my kids. He has cooked most meals, cleaned the house, put the kids to bed, played with them at the park so I could rest, rubbed my back, ran out to the store at all hours to get me something that I would like to eat, watch me eat it and then throw it right back up. He has been my EVERYTHING! He will forever be blessed for the efforts he puts into our home. I love him dearly.

Another shout out goes to my mom. Mom, THANK YOU! She came to my house every day she had off work to help me. She would drive me around to my appointments, help me grocery shop and cared for the kids so Doug could care for me. I love her and she has set the most beautiful example of the kind of mother I want to be. If I am half the mother she is, my children will be blessed.

My testimony burns strong within me. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are real! They hear our prayers and are mindful of our exact situations. I have felt a love and peace that has come directly from heaven. My home has been blessed - the Sprirt of the Lord dwells here. I believe in the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. I believe, to the depths of my soul, that Joseph Smith really did see God and His Son, that he restored the priesthood of God to the earth. I know it, I live it, I love it.

Thank you all for your love and concern. May we all turn to the Lord in our trials and be strengthened through Him!