We kept it brief with the kids, as Nola really struggles with the thought of death. She has had nightmares and moments of intense anxiety, just like her Mama, about Jesus' crucifixion. We have been keeping our focus on the resurection and teaching of the emence joy it will produce. I cannot wait for tomorrow morning!
Saturday has been a day of deep reflection, so I'd like to share my thoughts.
The crucifixion.
I struggle with this day. I often don't allow myself to go there...to go that place where the emotions are so raw, so real and oh, so intense. I protect myself by keeping my distance, by closing my eyes, sticking my fingers in my ears and whistling a sweet toon to remain ignorant.
Ignorance is bliss, isn't it? Well actually, no. Truth is bliss, and the truth is that Jesus was tortured by man until He gave up the ghost and left His mortal life. Jesus was innocent before Pontius Pilate, yet He was charged. He was whipped, mocked and spit upon. He carried His own cross to Golgatha, where with He was hung upon. Not only were nails driven through His palms, but also through His wrists. With slashes to His sides and a crown of thorns upon His head, He hung.
Waiting.
Waiting to fulfill His calling and finish His Fathers work. He certainly was the Son of God, but man, how hard must that have been. We can certainly see that His eternal perspective gave Him the strength He needed to endure, especially when the Father withdrew himself. Even while hanging, all alone, He forgave His accusers, for they knew not what they were doing.
Oh Jesus, I love you. I love you so much. I am so sorry that you had to endure the crucifixion...that you had to suffer. How I wish I could have been there, to help console you in any way. To have held your mother while she watched, to have gazed into your eyes and born unto you the testimony of my soul, to have anointed and wrapped your body and to have helped carried you to the sepulchre. To have waited, patiently and with faith that you would indeed rise again.
Oh Lord, I would have. And Lord, I will now. I will hold my brothers and sisters on earth as they face adversity. I will let my light so shine and share my testimony with the world. I will partake of the holy sacrament worthily and with conviction. I will use my eternal perspective to ensure the 'Golgathas' of my life.
And I will wait, with patient and faith, for when you come again, because I know you will.
I love you. Oh, I love you. Thank you, Dear Lord. Thank you.
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