Doug is away this evening. He has spent the afternoon and evening dirt biking with his co-worker, and he is having such a blast. I talked to him on the phone, and the boy was clearly on cloud 9. Hearing him so happy, watching him be able to do the things he loves, giving him time to go out and just be Doug, blesses me with such deep and sincere joy. I love him, immensely.
I have had a bit of a grumbly belly this evening, which was the worst right around the kids bed time. I informed them it was bed time and that I wasn't feeling too well, so we need to work as a family. The kids listened so beautifully and really helped one another get ready for bed. Sorry to share too much info, but Nola and Robbie both came into the bathroom to see me and to show me they got into their jammies. When they saw that I was really not feeling well, the both came to me and rubbed my legs. Once in their rooms, Nola picked a short book for bedtime story, knowing that I was not well. She the offered the family prayer and said 'Jesus, could you please bless my mom so she will feel better and can have a good night sleep?' We all then had our regular snuggles and talked about the day. Nola gave me her horse stuffy to sleep with and Robbie wouldn't let me leave until he kissed my nose, both cheeks, forehead, chin and lips. The love I feel from these little people...it's life altering.
I am humbled. Totally and completely. I do know that God is good, that He loves me and that He is mindful of me, however in moments like this evening, I am just so humbled, so awe inspired, so utterly grateful that He is THAT good, that He loves me THAT much and that He is SO mindful of me. Every gift comes from Him.
It is my priveldge to be a wife...to be Doug's wife. There truly are no words to ever describe what he has done to me, what he has done for me. Our love is infinite, and through the grace and love of God, so is our marriage. Doug embodies everything that is good in this world.
It is my priveldge to be a mother...to be Nola, Robbie and Johns mother. I still cannot believe that I have been entrusted with these three. I often wonder, what could they learn from me? These three valiant, beautiful, pure beings. Truthfully, they are the teachers. They teach me life lessons that no others could. They teach me patience, love, endurance, resiliency, temperance, compassion, humility, dependence and faith. They are my breath, my life, my heart, my soul.
It is my priveldge to be me...to be Jess. I am grateful to be me - to walk this path, to bask in this sunshine, to dance in this rain, to endure these storms. The Lord has blessed me with an ability to love, and with that, I love hard. Truly loving can be a challenge...opening your heart to others leaves you vulnerable, and with that, you can be left with some very deep wounds. But then, it also blesses you with the pure, burning love of our fellow men. The kind of love that saves, heals, redeems and glorifies. This is what I live for...this is my passion, to love.
Heavenly Father, thank you. Thank you for this life, this amazing opportunity to live, learn, love and grow. Thank you for sending us your Son, Jesus Christ. I love Him, and trust Him. All my thanks are to Thee.
Beautiful!
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